Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
