I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
