If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
