Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
