So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
