Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize