it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize