You can't special order awesome
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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