I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
