You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
