This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
