There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
