Already got asked if we're dating
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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