she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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