found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
