Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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