Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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