we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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