New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
