she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
