That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
