Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
