Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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