I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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