My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
