How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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