I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
love makes seman taste better
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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