I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
