Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
how drunk are you?
Several
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
