So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i came on her dog
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
