Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize