So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
