Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize