Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
