dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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