Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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