i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ok first of all what the fuck
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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