When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
