i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
