and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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