Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
