If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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