Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
