How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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