I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
