yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
