haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think I died a long time ago.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
