PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
