apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
