The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
