What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
