I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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