Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
