You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
