so that wasnt chicken after all
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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