I'm drive I can fine osifer
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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