youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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