I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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