I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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