How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
