So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
