mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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