is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
