Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize