dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
