Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My vagina is officially offended.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize