know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the day after is always just damage control
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize