Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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