so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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