i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
