TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize