She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
