my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize