somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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