i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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