3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
