1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
