Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
