Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
